My Mother's Love

"Ah Sang, Take the money. You will need it for your renovation and get the house settled. Your Dad and I will do just fine."

"But Ma, you will need money for your new place too. I can't take it. "

"Take it boy."

The words cut into me deeply. I felt like a wretch. Here I am, way long into adulthood. And still a worry for my parents.

Shouldn't I be the one supporting them in their twilight years. My eyes teared as I write this post.

During my wedding, I gave a thank you speech to my parents, thanking them for helping me through all this years. I told the guests, I have never being an easy son. Not that I am wayward or anything. But the journey I being through makes it hard for my parents too.

Their once proud son did well academically and was earmarked to advance well in the Education Service. Mum and Dad were there when he went through his convocation twice for two different degree in two prestigious local universities. Principalship were once the destiny of their son. After the dangerous waters of seeing their son gone through a risky vocation in the army. It was almost time for them to kick back and relax from their parenting.

Misfortune struck, an illness struck the son and he couldn't carry on in the career he was earmarked for. Semi disabled, he had to leave the service and became a delivery driver while undergoing treatment. Times were hard, the working hours were long and the pay paltry. The son lost much weight in part due to the illness in part due to the physical toil. The son was resilient, and in his mind he knew at least he was making my own earning despite being disabled.

The illness eventually subsided, leaving behind a vast field of debris which the son had to remove for the rest of his life.

Landing back into an office job after remission of a year. The son was grateful for being able to work again. He was overjoyed. The storm has passed, life will get better now. This was what he thought.

Little did he knew, that his newfound company while appearing welcoming initially will end up as one of the worst employers ever. No chance was ever give to the son for career advancement or education. The son work long and hard in part due to his gratefulness in part due to his yearning for recover what he has lost.

Years gone by but the pay remains largely similar. Inflation continues to erode the son's earning. He began to starved.

The management when challenged on the pay issue gave a thin veneer of an excuse of the greater good. This is public money etc....

Why does the son not leave? He wants to. Every single breathing moment. He tried very hard. The society he lived in discriminate against survivors of the illness. He was not able to land any jobs with the government service due to the discrimination. Private sector jobs were difficult to get as the son was educated and trained to serve in the public sector.

After the illness struck, the son continued to served 7 years in the reservist army as an infantryman, daring bullets and potentially limb breaking accidents in the process. He also ran long and hard, eventually becoming a half marathoner. He wondered. How disabled can he be? Why does society treats him like a second class worker.

By God's grace, the son found a loving wife who married him despite of his ill fortune. Mum and Dad breathe a sigh of relief, ah boy is now a family man.

The company took the opportunity to mark down the performance of the son by claiming he spend too much time preparing for his wedding. With that, they saved a few pennies by not giving him the decent pay that he so badly needed. They rubbed their hands in glee. Maximum savings!

The son found it hard to manage the ever rising costs of running a family and setting up a home with an artificially depressed pay. He was desperate and began looking for a second job to add to his income. Also, he fervently went around asking for opportunities from friends and family to move on.

Despite not being the well off, Mum and Dad got wind of it and offered help to the son. Each aid he received, pained his heart. His self worth got less and less. He felt more and more depressed every single day.

Ma, Thank you so much for your love. I am so sorry that you still have to worry for me even at my 34 years of age. I am so sorry...

Wifey, thank you so much in believing in me despite that I am not able to show you that I am the talented young man that I promised I am during our courtship. I promised to give you all that you choose to forsake due to my economic situation. Your ring, the proper house and so much more.


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