A friend lost...

It was a lazy afternoon at a coffeeshop in Bt Gombak. A brief look at the iPhone as my friend Leonard read through the alleged blog of a beligerent friend. A shrug and a smile later. "I know why you are feeling so this way. You are all grieving for the loss of a friend."

"We all did what we can to convince him. But it will come to a point where you just had to let go."

"He made his choice, and for better or worse, he will face the consequences of his actions. He should know that by doing all this he will lose his old friends. Yet he did it. You can't control another person man. Let him be...We probably don't mean anything to him now. So why bother getting angry over it."

I nodded and remembered his words. For a long while, I toyed with the idea of replying to Asingaporean's loaded and aggressive reply to me on the public web. It was full of accusations and with no sense of guilt on his end. He has allowed his friends to be slained online and even joined in the fun.

In the end, no apologies, no atonement, nothing. He paused his blogging for a short while and then continued with his wayward ways. We never had anything against him keeping a blog. But it was the constant bashing of Singaporeans that drove the battering ram to our nerves. The constant "I am so brave to venture to Australia and done so well" altitude coupled with the looking down on those who remained behind stance had took its toll on our friendship.

He will deny all this of course, because if one were to read his words. He is never wrong, he is always the hero in the world of wrongness.

Well so long friend, forget it was us that sent you to the airport and sent you your overweight luggage. Forget that we sent you safety goggles when we saw your post on your eye injury. Noting that all these deeds were not even worth a mention on your esteemed blog. You have far more important tasks in slamming Singapore then to write about good deeds. Not a word of concern since you left Singapore shores anyway. So why should I care anymore.

Our helping hands are still here, but we will no longer reach out or worry for you. Take care mate.


  1. Guess whose gift I listed on top of the list?

    I miss my friend

    I feel delighted for my friend

    I feel thankful for my friend

    Selective reading?

    In your opinion, I do nothing right.
    I have never look down on any one staying in Singapore much less my own friends and I've explained it several times. I'll leave you to your own interpretations because as always, I respect my friends' perspectives.

  2. Why is it we never heard a word of concern since you left? Do you know how things are going on with tuck and my life? Nope.

  3. You two boys need your heads banged together to knock some sense into you. You both care very much about each other, that is obvious and you are being cranky teenage brothers ! Doesn't matter who said what first. This is petty stuff that if you said face to face, you would have sorted in a flash and been back to normal . I hope you be kind to each other, life is too short.

  4. Haha agreed, it can be sorted in a flash if the other party is willing to take the step forward. Sadly, he refuse to budge, hence no matter what we said or do. He still think he is entitled to his ways. So I wrote this as a form of closure.

    1. If a few lines written in an otherwise (at the moment) obscure blog in the cyber universe, read by that many, is “bashing", that someone can be so stirred to gallantly ride give point against it to 大义”免”亲“ then what Victorian Cross or Purple Hearts or the likes, would do for the victors of war games, battle simulation or online “slaying”?

      While the real “ramming” of real body, mind, soul, nerve and all, in true Newtonian fashion, where the rumbling before being run over might sound like “I am so brave to venture to Singapore and done well” coupled with 五星不认 looking down on those who for generations made the place what it is today that is worth “venturing” in the 1st place!

      Singaporeanson is afterall a Singaporean son; nothing can change it, at most only prefix it.

      While the other bewildered 40+% (regardless of what new passport they now also carry), always treated like heroes creating outpost / enclave in new frontier for their own people, and welcome back anytime as heroes to their homeland, country, provinces, village or kampong etc, goes on wondering why it can be so unique to this tiny dot, where the true locals, already so few, are called names, shunted, bashed, “let go” at every turn, when they are doing only the same! …

      Have you checked what’s on the back of your neck lately?

  5. I am always here to step forward. The doors have already been closed long time ago. So please stop pointing fingers, you are much more honourable in my eyes than this. If you expect a reply, tell me. I have plenty to say but I am not sure if anyone wants to listen.


  6. Then go ahead and give me a call when your budget deem fit. My lines of communication has always been open. You can whatapps, email whatever.

  7. I'll email you first tonight, because I want to minimise leaving out anything. Then call you the evening after if it is not working.

    fyi, my phone is giving me a lot of problems because my apps are stored in my memory card. the slot cover (the soft part) is loose and does not hold the card in place properly. very often (almost 95% of the time by now) the memory card gets disconnected. whichever apps i stored in the card will close even during my usage halfway through. which meant to say my skype calls get disconnected halfway, and anything like whatsapp and emails. I don't have internet connection at home and i ended up using the sim card as my mobile broadband, thus i am offline almost all the time once i get home. i'm not even sure if old messages of whatsapp still send through reliably this way. i know the version of msn in my mac book doesn't and i only discover it lately. which means to say any messages sent offline to me in msn are not received. (though i suspect i don't have many of those) That is why i am using ebuddy now instead of the mac version of msn after i realised i could get offline messages. these put me off and i simply stick do what i could do easiest, especially during the entire working life at that previous company where i was totally wasted after each day of work. i just wrote a few words in the blog while eating my supper/breakfast and sleep. next day i struggled with the baby and went to work. i admit there is very little i did to people in singapore after the baby is born, even with my family.

    that was why i decided to change job though i am paid less here. i have to time to do these now. the above are not excuses, i could have gotten a new phone, even a bluetooth and gotten myself geared up so i can call each friend a day everyday during the long drive back home. that ran through my mind yesterday when i was driving back. you know me well, i don't change my gadgets, clothing or whatever until they really break down or disintegrate whichever comes first. pure stinginess or laziness whatever. you can fault me on these but cutting off communication with friends is never the intention. it was the side effects of my laziness. another side effect is that i realised i have complete detechnologise myself. i don't even know how to shop for a right equipment to service me the way i need it. i.e i have not even used a bluetooth before. your communication lines are open but i'm afraid i need to do a lot more to use them.

    i'll keep this short because of text limit here and im actually at work. these are not the content i wanted to write in the email tonight. i thought i'll just let you know what's happening here.

  8. As I mentioned earlier, my lines of communication are open. My housing reno, work and additional job has been keeping me on my toes as Tuck can attest. I will most likely return to the army for my career as it seems the feasible career for me at this juncture.

  9. army is better than police imo. congrats. keep me updated if confirmed

  10. Glad you two took my advice and started talking to each other. No matter how much you care about someone, you will not always agree with each other, but you should never let a disagreement come between you if can be avoided. Hope you two will continue be friends. Anita


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